Regarding hobbies: Maybe you could start playing videogames with friends? I know that compared to what @robbert.f suggested it’s probably not the best or healthiest hobby, but the easiest to get into since you only have to turn on your PC.
I’d suggest you “Ori and the blind Forest” and it’s successor “Ori and the Will of the Wisps” which are both unbelievably beautiful (although somethimes kind of hard) jump’n’run games. The music and the artwork are breathtaking.
For multiplayer I’d recommend Factorio which is about automation and building a robot factory on an alien planet. It’s great with two people and at least I was able to really sink into it and forget about the rest of the world for five hours in a row.
The games are 20€, 30€ and 25€ on Steam, you can however get them much cheaper on external sites like allkeyshop.com. All three of them work fine on Ubuntu-based Linux.
Thanks that’s very nice, but I still have hope that my phone might have been found and delivered to the appropriate place. I lost it in a tram or metro after all.
I’m not really into video games much. Pokemon is an exception, because it reminds me of my childhood.
That all sounds like I’d need to concentrate to do it, which is really hard for me.
As @robbert.f pointed out (and I also think this, judging by the lovely fotos you post), photography could be for you. An old friend of min is constantly taking fotos of creatures and uploading them to
A little update is due.
I’m feeling better for a week now. I always thought so, when I was feeling better, but this time I really really really think it means I’m on my way up.
Yesterday for example I hardly felt the depression and I was rather motivated to do something. So because no friend had time for me and my brain still doesn’t let me do anything interesting for more than a few minutes I was bored AF.
Boredom is actually something I haven’t felt in a while. So that’s good.
I’m back on my plan to move to Graz, which I’m sure will help, but I don’t think I’m really fit to work yet (and also I don’t have any qualification), so for a while I’ll only have bills and no income. But I think it’s worth it if it helps with my depression.
I hope I’ll find some friends there quickly, but my track record doesn’t look good.
What else? Other symptoms of my depression, other than the shitty brain, are dizziness and shakiness, so it’s a good thing I didn’t become a surgeon.
My psychiatric rehab is starting soon. Not sure whether I’ll have much time to be on the forum while I’m there.
Okay that’s all I can think of right now.
PS: I think I haven’t been very active on the forum for about half a year now. Anybody want to give me a short update about what I missed?
PPS: Oh and obviously I have trouble sleeping. Otherwise I wouldn’t haunt the forum at 3 at night.
PPPS: I should really train my brain a little and my favorite way to do so was always riddles. Anyone know any good ones?
I doubted if this should be in the new thread you created, but I think it belongs here. I’ve been re-playing some Layton games recently, and they are quite good. It’s a point-and-click adventure where there’s a mystery that you’ll solve throughout the story, finding a lot (like a lot) of puzzles in the way. Most of them are Maths-related, but not all, and they are quite digestible since it’s targeted at kinds, I think (I like Maths, but most of them seemed like regular, fun mind challenges).
If you happen to have a Nintendo DS/3DS handy, or an emulator, you could get some puzzles from there. For maybe the third part of them, you don’t need to even stare at a screen, and you can enjoy them separately. I recommend the 3rd or 4th games in the series, since they are my favourites (avoid the 2nd one, puzzles are quite easy and some of them seemed bugged to me). If you’re not interested in the story at all, you can maybe get some savefile from the internet with all of them unlocked (there’s an “extra” mode where you can replay each of them).
Another option is using some online guides as a source for new riddles, maybe for your new riddles thread, (there are official Nintendo guides in Spanish, but I’m unable to find them in any other language right now). Please mind the person who looks for an appropiate riddle may be spoiled with the solution.
So I’m on psychiatric rehab since a week now. I think it will be helpful, but for now it wasn’t. I only had 2 days of therapy until now, because I was in quarantine for two days, there was the weekend and 1 national holiday.
All this being alone, doing nothing, lying in bed and crying… I could have done that at home.
I hope today will be better. I’m especially looking forward to group therapy and hope I’ll manage to speak up.
Fingers crossed for you, Paula! Let us all hope that the group therapy sessions will help you to overcome this episode. I feel you, me mother had been hospitalized with a serious depression since last September …
Paula,
I read your message and can’t ignore it.
I know how painful is to suffer this desease. May be, this Fairphone “appel à l’aide” is like a bottle in the sea : poor chances for the message to be understood by th ones who will read it.
I found a link for french peakers :
another way of triing not to go deeper down is focusing on something like breathing and triing to compare the rythm, to pay attention to the good your body feels when the air comes in.
Other link to take away from your thinkings (it’s in french) :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0xAZ-6WT7I
Good luck Paula
So I’m back from rehab for more than a week now and it was really good for me.
This monday I started reducing my medication, but then once again one hit came after the other and I increased my medication again. Worst of all: On Wednesday my best friend, who I love dearly, ended the friendship pretty much out of the blue and told me she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. For about 2,5 hours I was completely suicidal, but I was stuck inside a train, so I couldn’t act on it.
Then the shock set in and now even though I’m totally devastated I can’t really cry much.
I don’t want to live anymore, but I’m not really suicidal either.
If I had 3 wishes I’d wish for cancer and for my best friend to visit me on my death-bed and cuddle with me one last time.
Stay brave Paula!
I hope, although it is perhaps not enough for a compensation, that you will never hesitate to come and talk here, to people, to anyone you feel confident to talk to. We aren’t your nearest friends, but I believe we are many to care about you and you will always be heard and listened to!
… I’d wish you all the best, all the best and all the best
creatures and uploading them to
while the new camera modules are always a cool thing but 
Quick mind! 
