wellcome back and good luck for the next future
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It’s so nice to see you again on the forum.
Enjoy your life.
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What a positive surprise, hearing of your progress, after suffering for such a long time!I I hope, this progress will lead you back to a positive life again.
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Great news! 
I already was hoping for this, since I saw you posting in the forum again a few days ago. It really made me happy and aware, how much a part oft this community you are. Welcome back, you havd been missed.
May your path be bright and even now!
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I’m back to rock bottom again. 
Yesterday I saw HER and it was a glimpse of heaven and it was hell.
I thought I was over her, but being there in the same place as her without having any contact was too painful. I wanted to see her, be near her, talk to her, hug her, I really wanted to cuddle with her. But we ignored each other.
I had suicidal thoughts and today I cut myself again.
I don’t want to live like this anymore.
Hi I suppose you have someone close you can talk to and explode a bit.
I could DM if you like 
Do you have any writings on-line I could read?
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I have a few online contacts I write with, but nobody close I could talk to.
Maybe tomorrow. I’ll probably fall asleep soon now. I took a lot of sleeping pills.
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You have a setback. But I have confidence in you that will overcome this.
If you took to much sleeping pills, please call 112.
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Hey ya’ll,
Since I was asked (in a PM): Here is an update.
I’m still having a heavy depression and I think by now it’s chronic.
Also I seem to get nowhere closer to learning to live with my other issues.
For example recently I almost became friends with a woman I was around for one week in Italy, but then I became dependent and drama unfolded and in the end we decided not to have contact anymore. 
I’ve been hospitalized 4 times now and it all didn’t help, so now my therapist and me are thinking about assisted living, so I get more therapy than at home for a long time/forever.
Hope ya’ll have better times than me. 
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I Wish you all the best!
We fairphoners hold to you!
We Hope you get Well soon
And thanks for Writing this.
Sadly Depression is one of Thing people dont Talk about…
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Happy to talk about what I find depressing, but I’m sure it will just add to the weight.
Very often the escape is a distraction via sex, drugs, work > anything to keep my mind from the inevitable self analysis. Luckily I have acres of land to manage and a forum or two for rainy days, with sewing and cooking as full time jobs too.
But I find it difficult doing anything meaningful with people. They are a great distraction but when they are gone I have to think about myself alone again 
So working with the land is more stable.
It’s a heavy weight being a human with this notion of caring and yet seemingly such a consumer. How did I come into being
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or worse people not suffering from it, talk about (not meaning you and your post just in general people that think one can overcome a depression by just bracing themself)
@paulakreuzer I can hardly understand what a depression is causing to you or anyone else suffering from it and I think its good, you keep on talking about it and accept all help/treatment offered by the health system. Try to listen to yourself to note things that feel good when doing and those feeling bad and try to stick to the good ones as much as possible.
If you feel its good for you, recently 2 german “proms” talked about their depressions. If you want to listen to it, search for Kurt Krömer and Torsten Sträter (both have a TV show and they visited each other to talk about it to increase awareness for this disease).
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Hi Paula,
Thanks for the update. Sorry to hear you are still struggling.
I truly hope you find a way to live with yourself.
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Hi again
I don’t know how appropriate or acceptable me posting ‘stuff’ is but here goes
He adds: "If I can get through the winter and I can come through the other side into the spring time, into the summer, it’s a bit like experiencing my depression.
“I’ll be going into the darkness and the blackness and coming out into the lighter world on the other side.”
Kayaker Nick Ray: I'll paddle off to sea and not come back for a year - BBC News
I do much the same with cultivating. Winter and spring are fine as I can do manual work, summer never brings the glory it promises and autumn is time to accept that I look forward to another winter with it’s spring.
Hey everybody.
I could really need some Fairphone-community-love right about now, just like I always get it when I post here (thanks for that 
).
I have been better for a few months now, but now I’m down in the deep hole again. A few things lead to that: One medication got reduced, I met the woman mentioned in my last post again, I had a situation where my social phobia made me really sad and some other things.
I just feel so lonely. 
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Just to say hi publicly, to say you are not being ignored and have sent you a private message.
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Hallo Paula,
gut zu lesen, dass die Fairphone Community ein Platz ist, an den Du immer zurückkommen kannst, wenn Dir danach ist.
Beim letzten Mal hast Du betreutes Wohnen angesprochen. Gibt es dazu etwas Neues (wenn Du erzählen magst)?
Fühl Dich gedrückt!
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Nein wir sind dann eigentlich wieder davon abgekommen, weils mir besser gegangen ist.
Spezialambulanz für therapieresistente Depressionen war auch eine Idee, aber dafür wollte mir meine Psychiaterin keine Überweisung schreiben.
Momentan bin ich eher dabei, mir eine neue Therapeutin zu suchen, weil meine meint, dass ich mal was neues brauch.
Aber wenns mir jetzt wieder länger schlechter geht wär betreutes Wohnen natürlich doch wieder eine Option.
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Das klingt so, als sei das betreute Wohnen für den Moment eher eine Art “Plan B”. Hattet Ihr schon über das konkrete Prozedere bzw. konkrete Plätze gesprochen?
Für den Fall, dass Du die Therapeutin wechselst, bleibt Dir dann die alte quasi so lange erhalten bis Du bei einer neuen anfangen kannst?
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