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🏳️‍🌈 Paulakreuzer 2.0 is out now

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#21

It’s reassuring to know that there seem to be people that know Paula and me better than we do ourselves and each other… :stuck_out_tongue: There are lots of good posts on the forum about all the great time that Paula and me have spent with the Austrian Fairphoners. :slight_smile:

In order to avoid further Besserwisser posts: Paula and me are in personal contact and we will meet up when I’m back in Vienna.


#22

Very nice you give example to all people in similar situations. We all deserve to seek our true selves!! Congratulations in your new steps, Paula!!


#23

All the best for you and good luck, Paula! Hope everything works out for you! Impressing of you to speak about this in public! :slight_smile:


#24

Congratulations!

I have two trans friends IRL, and the thing that struck me most the first time I saw them after they went through the whole process (I lived abroad when they came out, so I just saw the “end” results after a few years) is that with both of them I instantly thought “you feel so much more like yourself somehow!”

Which makes logical sense of course, but I didn’t expect my “irrational” brain to agree so easily - I was expecting for having to overcome subconscious bigotry that we all struggle with in some form (obviously still happened on other fronts, luckily they’re good friends who didn’t insta-ditch me and helped point those out to me).

So all I’m saying is: I hope it’ll be the same kind of experience for you and your friends! :smiley:


#25

Best wishes, be happy !!! :kissing_heart:


#26

Welcome out Paula, looking forward to seeing you at our next meetup here in Vienna :slight_smile:


#27

This might be the best post I’ve read on this forum (and there have been a lot!!). I am happy for you, Paula, and wish that you may receive back all the help and energy you’ve willingly consecrated to this forum’s users, in one way or another. And even if I see how this can be a confusing issue for many among us, I only wanted to state that both you and @Stefan have struck me as extremely kind and good hearted people. I therefore wish you both a constructive dialogue that may further deepen your friendship and understanding of each other.

From my side, again, most heartfelt wishes for a bright and happy future! :slight_smile:


#28

Herzlichen Glückwunsch, liebe Paula! Ich glaube, eine Herbst-Jacke von Dir hängt noch an meiner Garderobe? Willst Du sie zurück haben? Oder jetzt nicht mehr? Gebe ich sie einer Hilfsorganisation? Dann lese ich gerade ein (fiktives) Buch über einen Manager, der als Frau aufwacht und beschreibt, was sich dadurch alles ändert (also über Nacht). Das Buch sagt, die Wahrnehmung durch die Gesellschaft von ihr als Frau sei ganz anders. Eine Frau, die ein IT-Unternehmen gegründet hat, hat das auch gesagt. Mich interessiert sehr, wie es Dir ergeht und ergehen wird, ob es wirklich so anders ist.
Herzliche Grüße
Marie


#29

Seems like I’m late to the party but hey, welcome Paula!!


#30

Thanks again everybody for the kind words. It really warms my heart. :slight_smile:

@Marie1: Aja, die Jacke! An der Heimreise vom #efct16 hab ich noch daran gedacht und wollte mich bei dir melden, aber dann hab ich vergessen und seit 2 Jahren über einem Jahr (wie @Stefan unten richtig hingewiesen hat) nicht mehr an die Jacke gedacht. Also offenbar ist sie mir nicht sehr wichtig, sie zu spenden ist wohl am besten. :slight_smile:


#31

I think it’s great you had the guts just coming out like that, on the big bad internet no less. I can’t imagine what it’s like but I guess it takes a lot of courage and confidence to be able to do that. It’s also great to see the positive reception on these forums. The attitude here has been very positive in general though so I wouldn’t have expected otherwise. These days there’s just so much intolerance in the world towards people who in generally are assumed to be “different”.

Having said that, your or anyone’s gender, sexual preference, religious background or whatever doesn’t affect me in any way so I’m not really giving a hoot about it. If you’re straight, gay, lesbian, transgender or whatever it is you are or want to be, it doesn’t make a difference to me. Doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be openly said or discussed (on the contrary), I’m just saying that to me, you are still the same person before and after this thread, deserving of the same amount of respect either way.


#32

That means that #efct18 is just around the corner!!! :smiley:


#33

Why not? It is not so difficult right? If you do it for the @username references that might break I think we can fix that via a simple command via shell on the server.


#34

Technical reasons got resolved thanks to @stije!
So it is @paulakreuzer all over the forum from now on :smiley:


#35

Yes it looks like it worked…let me know if you encounter problems :slight_smile:


#36

Awesome! Thanks, @stije. :slight_smile:


#37

Fully agree.
Sounds and looks more in line!
This community and the support one gets here rocks.


#40

It’s almost been a year now since I came out here to this awesome community and it’s time for a little update for anyone who might be interested.

I have never felt as myself as I am feeling now that I’m on hormone-replacement therapy for a year. I’m sure most of you know the feeling of being hormone-driven in some situations. I still experience that too, but now I’m driven by the right hormones. I no longer have that part in me that doesn’t belong and I have learned so much about who I really am in these past months. It’s hard to learn about yourself if you have two parts in you that are very different and you don’t know which feeling, thought or desire comes from which part.

Recently the supreme court ruled for the introduction of a third gender in Austria and lately I have thought a lot about genders. I believe there has to be a better concept than forcing everybody into one of a limited number of predefined genders. I have started a heated discussion about this subject on the musicbrainz forum.
Just a few months ago my plan was to wait until people on the streets recognized me as female and then legally change my name to Paula and the gender in my passport to female - now my plan is to not give a f*%k how other people see me and fight for the right to have any gender I want in my passport - or none at all, because why should it be the government’s business how I identify myself?


#41

My kind of attitude! :smiley:

Now here’s where you have me curious. Forgive me if you feel I failed to pad my words accordingly as I know this is a very sensitive topic in some circles, but I’m quite curious what the weight is of the issue of gender classification. So without challenging whether the status quo is right or wrong (which would be unfair as I never had to experience challenging my own gender-identity as documented in legal documents or otherwise), could you tell me a bit more about what makes you so passionate about this topic that makes you want to fight for it?
To sound a bit like the devil’s advocate: people tend to get all sorts of labels throughout their lives, based on various levels of ridiculous. Most labels I don’t really care about. For example: I studied computers, which probably gets me classified as a nerd. I like to believe there is more nuance to me than that, but I’m not too bothered by it, it doesn’t harm me. Another label I have is that I’m Dutch. It’s not that I identify with a (yet undefined) notion of Dutchness, nor do I somehow feel more related to all the Dutch and none of the others. I just happened to be born in a region separated by semi-arbitrary lines in the sand, and thus I feel like this fact says rather little about my nature. Equally I don’t mind when people mislabel me as say English or Mediterranean. I don’t have anything against the Netherlands, I think it’s quite a wonderful country (and it’s secular political structure has done a lot for the freedom of the individual, which I feel is something incredibly valuable and contributed to/reflected the tolerance of society as a whole, esp. as perceived in the 90s). But I’ve found quite a few other great countries in the world.
So I guess my main question is: why do you personally feel particularly interested in challenging this label? And bonus points for the more contentious underlying political question (feel free to challenge the assumptions in there as well!): what do you think about the contradiction I perceive in society where those who fight for linking identity with gender, appear to condemn those who fight to link identity to nationality (with terms like “nationalist”) - and vice versa? Shouldn’t we instead stop caring about these labels altogether and focus more on the individual instead?


#42

Thanks for your answer, you raise some good questions.
Disclaimer: I’m probably going to get quite passionate with my answers. Please don’t mistake my passion for aggression, dislike or anything like that. :slight_smile:

I think the main difference between nationality and gender is that there are other labels than Dutch available to you and you could have your nationality changed in your passport if you wanted to. It’s not easy and the other country has to accept you, but it’s possible. If you’d rather not like to have any specific country there but e.g. officially be a EU citizen instead I think that is a wonderful idea and you should fight for that. Ideally there should be an option not to have any nationality too, but unfortunately that won’t be an option for a long time I fear and will/would be a much harder (global political) fight.
For gender there are only two options available out of an infinite spectrum.
One reason why I think it’s worth to fight for individual labels for gender is that if the law acknowledges that something exists, the citizens will learn about it, at some point realize that it’s not something out of the norm, start to accept it and stop discriminating.
Also your examples - nerd and Dutch - are labels that are based on something about you, but were given to you by someone else. Labels you give yourself are different. If e.g. there was a label for eating habits in my passport with only the options carnivore and vegetarian available in my passport and I’d have to show it in every restaurant to get food based on it I’d fight for the option to have a vegan label too. That’s actually quite similar to what’s going on in some US states with the bathroom bills.

Well that’s easy: Because it concerns me directly. I’m happy to fight for things that don’t concern me directly. For example here in Austria we will probably be one of the last countries flooded when the sea levels rise, we are not (yet) directly affected by war and even our ultra-nationalist government doesn’t affect me personally, but still I do my part to fight climate change, war and nationalism. But of course fighting for something that concerns you is different. You automatically have some kind of expertise in the field (I have concrete ideas on how to fight gender-based discrimination, but I don’t have any specific ideas on how to end the Gaza-conflict. I only have a general simplistic idea on how to stop all conflicts: illegalize weapon manufacturing!).

I’m not sure I understand you here, but I’ll try to give an answer anyway. I don’t think linking identity to any label is ever bad. Someone who identifies hard with their nationality is not a nationalist. A nationalist is someone who discriminates others based on their nationality.
I recently thought about the word pride. I didn’t like it for a long time, but now I get it. There are two forms of pride: One based on thinking that you are better than others (e.g. nationalist, sexist,…) one based on simply being sick of being ashamed of who you are.
While I feel external shame (we call it fremdschämen) for austrian nationalists I feel proud e.g. of intersex people many of who have been through the worst (doctor ordered genital mutilation) and fight for other people’s rights not to have to go through the same in the future.