Personal interactions

It is clear the forum is to support people and not just those who have a Fairphone…

Ownership or intent to buy, or be involved in the Fairphone ‘business’ is not about the phone but what the production of the phone stands for.

For me it’s ‘fair trade’ and given the production of the phone was a consequence of the founder’s concerns with the supply chain I put that at the top.

Others may like the user repairability aspects of the phone and the quality and usability of the phone. For these people though it is still not just about the phone but how they feel treated by Fairphone when they don’t get a fix.

So as forum supporters it’s to the disappointments of the ‘users’ that most responses to queries are focused.

This now becomes a personal issue and oft the personal issue can be directed at a subsequent poster. It can then be seen as ‘off topic’ and can result in rude comments made about other people’s opinions.

So what to do?

Ignoring anyone isn’t ideal and yet it can be more than difficult, stressful even, trying to deal with personal expressions. However unless someone is blatantly abusive it seems rather unhelpful not to engage a distressed person’s concerns about how they are treated. (by forum members especially)

Hopefully no examples are required to elaborate and once ‘quoted’ would provoke the issues that some don’t want to deal with, but ignoring them is not the way to go. So they may well get answered under the topic they evolved in and hopefully the original query can still be addressed.

It’s more ‘human’ to argue and be upset more than to be ignored or shut someone down.

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Enter a discussion with an open mind.

Ask questions to better understand another person’s viewpoint.

If you get too frustrated, leave the discussion temporarily by mentally ignoring it, or permanently e.g. by saying this discussion leads nowhere, we can better stop. Using software to ignore a person is a last resort but I find it usually doesn’t work as it makes discussions difficult to follow.

Also of interest could be How to Argue Using the Socratic Method: 13 Steps (with Pictures) (tho I suppose there’s better sources on it)


Just some generic things I try (my best) to keep in mind …

Nobody’s perfect, people are different, opinions may differ, ways to go about expressing opinions may differ (within reasonable bounds).

Nobody is in possession of the absolute truth about everything.

You can agree to disagree on something and live on to perhaps agree on something else on a different occasion. Try to not burn bridges.

Most people in the internet (and I assume here) are non-native English speakers, things can get lost or warped in translation. Some goodwill in interpreting the words of others can’t hurt.

To err is human.


Here is an example of someone wanting to take an issue with someone personally. I consider it so off topic I am responding here.

It would help a lot sometimes if you just leave some posts uncommented. Instead, it seems that you keep the fire burning

What more can I say, to say it’s hypocritical is to state the obvious, but then not to respond is to ignore a communication someone feels so upset about as to make it public.

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I was suggesting you take your criticisms of the person to this topic and away from the one about Fairphone’s handling of updates. Just a suggestion. :slight_smile:

Could it be that you are a narcissist? Just a guess…

Clearly people have problems, if only I was the cause of them that would be so easy to rectify, people could just ignore me if that suits them.

But I’m not sure what being labelled ‘a narcissist’ is meant to convey.

Narcissism is a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive interest in one’s physical appearance and an excessive pre-occupation with one’s own needs, often at the expense of others Narcissism - Wikipedia

My physical appearance isn’t on show. Maybe @DeepSea thinks I have a ’ Narcissistic personality disorder’ Narcissistic personality disorder - Wikipedia

Well thanks for that, but I think I’m too old to seek help, but then maybe it’s untreatable and I’ll just have to die with it.

Sure, but that is not in your interest, or why have you created this thread? Usually people who have a problem with something create a forum thread…

Sure, but that is not in your interest,
Only for those who have problems with other users
or why have you created this thread?

There were/are a number of users that challenge each other’s views and it can get quite ‘heated’ and off topic.

That can lead to insults as you have just demonstrated, so I made this just for those cases. I had some idea that you may see it and channel some of your criticisms away from the actual help that is requested regarding the phone

Usually people who have a problem with something create a forum thread…

True I have found your personal provocations demanding but inappropriate under the topics I often find them, but you are not the only one to do so.

However moderators may close or slow down some topics due to back and forth conflicts of ideas so this topic was to provide a place where the arguments become more personal.

Clearly it is serving it’s purpose. :slight_smile:

Ah, in your eyes I am the provocateur, just because I corrected a few of your statements which have been wrong. You act in this forum as you were running it like a company.

How have I insulted you? We can talk about that in private if you like (and as suggested by the moderators)…

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Ah, in your eyes I am the provocateur
No just one who does it often

I corrected a few of your statements
Thank you for those :slight_smile:
You act in this forum as you were running it like a company.
? Don’t understand you there

How have I insulted you
That’s interesting, if you don’t know you wouldn’t recognise it or it would just elicit more

We can talk about that in private if you like
Public is fine. This way it shows others don’t have to hide their thoughts

No public is not adequate, do it in private or just stop it. Its not your (private) forum and all this is really more than disturbing the public.


Well I invite @DeepSea, as that seems to be the only one that does this, to avoid criticising me and stop responding if others are concerned.

It was happening on other posts, which as you point out, can be disturbing.

However I choose the right to reply to criticism.

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Then do it in private. End of discussion…

Then do it in private.

DeepSea I note your continued public affront and attempts to curtail a public response. As I said hypocritical :slight_smile:

But you are welcome.

(post deleted by author)


Just read more of his posts, you will get a different picture of him…

Dear DeepSea

In response to your post above

How many times did you note a thread going off topic?

First let me clarify that I may have been off topic ‘many’ times so I don’t have a problem with that.

And now, just because it was me who did the recent remark, it is fine for you?

Secondly your post is not representative of the meaning of your latest critique as

a) I don’t consider the author was off topic, as i explained and
b) my critique was not so much whether a post is off topic so much as the rude and controlling response that is often attached as in ‘what someone should do’

There is a way to invite someone to participate that is friendly but your ‘invite’ seems to be a put down, and a rude attack on someone’s personality or mentality. Hence this topic to better address such than to clearly go even more off topic.

I note your desire to maintain your stance and I have no problem with that, even if I find it somewhat nasty and harsh, hence this topic ~ so anyone can feel a bit more free to express such feelings without adding to the post that was used as a soapbox.

It is not about you unless you make it so and there is no reason not to engage if you so wish.

Well the sun is shinning again, which means I spend more time outside and may not make a timely response. Oh! for the cloudy days hey? :slight_smile:


I note your latest quip, which is rather more endearing

Sometimes some circumstances make your favourite dish taste differently and not as you might expected…

As far as helping users, there is not really a problem. What has happened recently is that forum threads about “what is fair” or something like that have exploded.


Your post contains a bunch of charged frustration that you try to hide well, on the one hand with lectures, on the other hand with irrelevant interjections like “nice weather today, isn’t it?”, otherwise you would not express yourself so emotionally.

In addition, you have blocked the possibility to send you a personal message. Whether for all or only for me I do not know. From this I conclude that you want to continue our conflict in public. What do you expect from this? After all, we both obviously have a problem that we can work out “like real men” among ourselves. This forum is not a Wild West saloon where fists fly and everyone can watch.

Your attempt at constructiveness is now lost on you at the latest. You now take every one of my posts as a welcome opportunity to publicly defame and pillory me with perverse delight. In the other thread I have only written that literally some things are simply the way they are, and even that does not suit you. Unfortunately, I cannot do anything about that. It is not my job to whitewash things, even if you do not like it. This shows that you already have a problem with simple criticism - a criticism that will probably still be allowed. I assume that you can still remember times when it was forbidden to express criticism.

If this thread only serves you to continue defaming me, it should either be hidden or better closed right away. You do not have to air your hatred for me in public. If you write to me privately, we can try to settle our problem, but certainly not in public.

However, since you seem to be picking apart every single one of my posts, making constructive discussion on a topic no longer possible, I took the liberty of writing to a moderator and asking him for an idea on how to settle the conflict. So you can see that I am interested in a resolution of the conflict, and I therefore ask you to acknowledge this and to refrain for the time being from making any further spills. Thanks…