My absence CW: depression

A little update is due.
I’m feeling better for a week now. I always thought so, when I was feeling better, but this time I really really really think it means I’m on my way up.
Yesterday for example I hardly felt the depression and I was rather motivated to do something. So because no friend had time for me and my brain still doesn’t let me do anything interesting for more than a few minutes I was bored AF.
Boredom is actually something I haven’t felt in a while. So that’s good.

I’m back on my plan to move to Graz, which I’m sure will help, but I don’t think I’m really fit to work yet (and also I don’t have any qualification), so for a while I’ll only have bills and no income. But I think it’s worth it if it helps with my depression.
I hope I’ll find some friends there quickly, but my track record doesn’t look good.

What else? Other symptoms of my depression, other than the shitty brain, are dizziness and shakiness, so it’s a good thing I didn’t become a surgeon.
My psychiatric rehab is starting soon. Not sure whether I’ll have much time to be on the forum while I’m there.

Okay that’s all I can think of right now.

PS: I think I haven’t been very active on the forum for about half a year now. Anybody want to give me a short update about what I missed?

PPS: Oh and obviously I have trouble sleeping. Otherwise I wouldn’t haunt the forum at 3 at night.

PPPS: I should really train my brain a little and my favorite way to do so was always riddles. Anyone know any good ones?

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Hi Paula,

I’m happy to see you back and read you again!

Well, FP3+ has been launched and some people are happy, but a lot come here to ask for help or complain, it seems the Update to Android 10 is full of bugs :sweat_smile: while the new camera modules are always a cool thing but not so much worth it, according a lot of people’s opinion, except for the front camera (Fairphone team is working on updating the camera software).

Regarding people, a lot of newcomers, but there is a new and very active forum moderator and Fairphone angel called @alex21, @BertG has also been promoted.

As for angels, we’ll move from Mailman to Discourse soon, the beta phase seems to be successful.

And for riddles, I don’t have many of them but found this searching the web: 100 Best Riddles (with Answers) - Highest Rated Riddles - Riddles.com.

Have fun :wink:

EDIT: In the worst case, you’ll find them boring, which is good news :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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PS: I think I haven’t been very active on the forum for about half a year now. Anybody want to give me a short update about what I missed?

For a more balanced account of people’s satisfaction with the FP3 and FP3+, I started a poll which currently stands at around the same 85 % satisfaction rate that Fairphone once reported about the FP2.

PPPS: I should really train my brain a little and my favorite way to do so was always riddles. Anyone know any good ones?

Just in case you don’t know that (joke) yet:
Why do ants never go into churches? Warum gehen Ameisen nie in Kirchen?

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Haha no, I didn’t know that one.

Solution, I guess

Because they are in sects

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:white_check_mark: Quick mind! :+1:

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A post was merged into an existing topic: Riddles Riddles and More Riddles

I doubted if this should be in the new thread you created, but I think it belongs here. I’ve been re-playing some Layton games recently, and they are quite good. It’s a point-and-click adventure where there’s a mystery that you’ll solve throughout the story, finding a lot (like a lot) of puzzles in the way. Most of them are Maths-related, but not all, and they are quite digestible since it’s targeted at kinds, I think (I like Maths, but most of them seemed like regular, fun mind challenges).

If you happen to have a Nintendo DS/3DS handy, or an emulator, you could get some puzzles from there. For maybe the third part of them, you don’t need to even stare at a screen, and you can enjoy them separately. I recommend the 3rd or 4th games in the series, since they are my favourites (avoid the 2nd one, puzzles are quite easy and some of them seemed bugged to me). If you’re not interested in the story at all, you can maybe get some savefile from the internet with all of them unlocked (there’s an “extra” mode where you can replay each of them).

Another option is using some online guides as a source for new riddles, maybe for your new riddles thread, :wink: (there are official Nintendo guides in Spanish, but I’m unable to find them in any other language right now). Please mind the person who looks for an appropiate riddle may be spoiled with the solution.

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The Professor Layton games and spin-off, are also available on Android on the Play Store.

And there are a lot of riddle apps in there as well!

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So I’m on psychiatric rehab since a week now. I think it will be helpful, but for now it wasn’t. I only had 2 days of therapy until now, because I was in quarantine for two days, there was the weekend and 1 national holiday.
All this being alone, doing nothing, lying in bed and crying… I could have done that at home.
I hope today will be better. I’m especially looking forward to group therapy and hope I’ll manage to speak up.

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Fingers crossed for you, Paula! Let us all hope that the group therapy sessions will help you to overcome this episode. I feel you, me mother had been hospitalized with a serious depression since last September …

Here is something that hopefully can cheer you up a bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F9w5_8PlqM&feature=emb_logo

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Paula,
I read your message and can’t ignore it.
I know how painful is to suffer this desease. May be, this Fairphone “appel à l’aide” is like a bottle in the sea : poor chances for the message to be understood by th ones who will read it.
I found a link for french peakers :


another way of triing not to go deeper down is focusing on something like breathing and triing to compare the rythm, to pay attention to the good your body feels when the air comes in.
Other link to take away from your thinkings (it’s in french) :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0xAZ-6WT7I
Good luck Paula
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So I’m back from rehab for more than a week now and it was really good for me.
This monday I started reducing my medication, but then once again one hit came after the other and I increased my medication again. Worst of all: On Wednesday my best friend, who I love dearly, ended the friendship pretty much out of the blue and told me she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. For about 2,5 hours I was completely suicidal, but I was stuck inside a train, so I couldn’t act on it.
Then the shock set in and now even though I’m totally devastated I can’t really cry much.
I don’t want to live anymore, but I’m not really suicidal either.
If I had 3 wishes I’d wish for cancer and for my best friend to visit me on my death-bed and cuddle with me one last time.

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Stay brave Paula! :slight_smile:
I hope, although it is perhaps not enough for a compensation, that you will never hesitate to come and talk here, to people, to anyone you feel confident to talk to. We aren’t your nearest friends, but I believe we are many to care about you and you will always be heard and listened to! :blush:

… I’d wish you all the best, all the best and all the best :wink:

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Luckely you already survived 2 days again.
Give yourself a compliment for that.
2 days will be 3. Take it by the day.
Lots of love.

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So I’m now at a psych ward because I’m suicidal.
Let’s hope it helps.

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So good of you that you sought help and got it.

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Hi Paula,
It’s difficult to know what to write to you in such a situation, but I just wanted to say that it makes me sad to read such bad news and that I think about you.
What is weird about virtual connections is that I don’t really know you, but I have read so many messages that you wrote that I have the illusion that I do. And what I can say about it is that you are a very valued member of the Fairphone community. You have written a lot of very good tutorials and you have answered and helped many users.
I really hope that you know how useful you are and that all that you’ve done on this forum is very important!
Take care of yourself and come back soon!

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no, paula, don’t wish for cancer, please, even in deep depression. I lost two friends of my age to cancer, and what they went through during their last ~2 weeks couldn’t be helped with cuddling – not for them, not for me. opiates helped, sedated, and the mere presence of loved ones helped too.
when I feel depressed, more than just “having the blues”, I find relief in the music of johann sebastian bach. solo violin, or cembalo mostly. may this help you too!

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Compassion, understanding ánd help from the outside world is far more easy when you have cancer compared to physical illnesses.
I have had both.

(After a few years with headaches it was said that it was physical. I got treatment which didn’t help at all. After 10 years from the beginning pf my headaches I got hearing aids and my headaches were gone. When I was young doctors believed that giving hearing aids to young people would result in lazy ears. So they didn’t gave me hearing aids although they knew I had hearing problems.)

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Hi Paula, I have been following your thread for quite a while, but I did not want to chime in, until I read this from you:

Wouldn’t it be better to wish yourself a good life, and to make plans for your own future, regardless whether you live with a friend or not? Just because you do not enjoy life now does not mean you never will. Why would you like to wish yourself death when you could make wishes in the opposite direction? And see, nobody here wants to wish you anything bad! Take this as one of many examples that you are an honoured part of the world, maybe a fragile but very precious human being!

I guess that your friend could not stand the way you feel anymore, maybe she was not strong enough to see you suffer. I am sorry that your relationship has ended. But every breakup bears new opportunities. You might have the chance to reorder your life, just the way you like it. Yeah, we do like so many unnecessary things in life, some posted on Facebook, some on Mastodon … but do we like our very own life as a whole?? Do we always have to be told what we want to like? (E.g., that is one reason for me to dislike many commercials.)

Your identity is individual and unique, and it is you who decides to like your own life, nobody else can do this in regard to your own life!

Take your time to think about yourself, I am sure that there will be at least one thing in your life that will make you consider to move on.

Let’s have a f…ing good time and enjoy LIFE!!!

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