Cute. What you have now is a full-blown computer in disguise which can also phone. It needs proper care and some basic problem awareness like any computer even if it ran smoothly.
But ok, it has serious problems and you don’t want to deal with them. That’s all right.
That’s why feature phones are still around, get one of those, because any smartphone can give you trouble and drive you towards all these nerdy forums with all their troublesome nerdy solutions you don’t have time or use for.
Just google the name of a smartphone of your choice and add “problem” to the name … I guess you will not like what you see 
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